Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
