I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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