Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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