And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
