True but thats because hes a fetus.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
