Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
