You smell like a Billy Joel song
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
