I just threw up on my dentist
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
