sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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