Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
