Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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