I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
