So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
