pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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