and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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