She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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