I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
