Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
