Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Vodka?
Forever.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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