I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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