I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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