were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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