Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
