What a fucking waste of an outfit
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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