I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
