Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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