10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
