Plan B is the new Plan A
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
