you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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