Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
