Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
