Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
