you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The power of my boobs compel you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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