I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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