My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
