Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
even my farts smell like vagina
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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