We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
