Whod you bang
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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