Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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