omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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