you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
