I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you inspire me to be a worse person
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
