and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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