I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
