soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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