Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
