i think my tv is drunk
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
