and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
