just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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