I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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