Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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