Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
